Dear California (Not all you, just the idiots running the show and the sheep who support them),
By now you have seen my wrath when you don’t take care of the significant gifts, which I have created for you.
Let’s start with your forestry policy. Putting out fires and leaving the forests alone is not a policy. It is a disaster. You see, my forests live in a cycle. As they age, they must be removed so that new growth can spring up and the cycle can continue. I use a very effective method to implement this strategy, fire.
When you put out my fires, you must have a plan to mitigate the damage, of not allowing me to do my job. Believe it or not, trees are a renewable resource and I have given ample land for trees to grow at every step of the cycle. So you see, you will never run out. Trees are also a valuable resource; you can use the wood for so many things, the list is exhaustive; Heat, lumber, paper products, etc. During their lifetime, they improve the soil, clean the air, provide a habitat for wild life and improve the overall health of the planet. So not taking care of my forests is just plain disrespectful!
But in order to take advantage of this resource, you need to remove the trees. No! Not all at once. Trees can be removed and thinned in grids. This provides a natural fire line and each grid should be somewhere on my cycle. If you do not, my forests are designed to create enough tinder and fuel, that you will not be able to put out my fires. I hope you have been seeing this the last 5 years; as the fires have become progressively worse. This will continue until you change your horrible, 50 year, forestry policy. Yes it took you 50 years to mess this up so bad that I had to step in.
Oh, BTW, my bad. When I decide to manage the forests because you cannot, I do not discriminate. If there is a town in the way, that is unfortunate in my eyes but catastrophic for the soles that are paying the consequence of your policies. By mitigating the damage done by putting out fires, you could have avoided this altogether. Oh, also, those spotted owls you were saving, they are all dead. Also, when you pound spikes into the trees, it really pisses off the tree. Of course the good news; in 10 years these burned out areas will again be lush, green forests.
Let’s not blame global warming for your incompetence. For starters the climate is always changing, it has been much warmer and colder in the past, that is its nature (pardon the pun). I know this because I have been around forever.
Perhaps you could stop putting 3 homes where one should exist. Or, how about all the non-indigenous plants, they don’t belong. Can you have any more pavement? Can your cities be any dirtier or have more litter? So before you go blaming everybody else, perhaps you should look in the mirror, as Californians are the very worst stewards of the environment.
Oh before I go, do not force my hand when it comes to the two genders I have created. There are males and females. If you want to know the difference, look up their skirts or have them drop their drawers. How can anybody possibly deny this? Drug regimens and surgeries to change the gender is going to really upset me. Trust me, you do not want to upset me.
I could go on, but I hope you are getting my point. Don’t mess with me, I am Mother Nature!